Skip to main content

Resilience in Lesbian and Gay Couples

  • Chapter
Couple Resilience

Abstract

Lesbian and gay couples, although similar in many ways to heterosexual couples, utilize unique strategies to develop secure, stable, and healthy relationships, within the hegemony of heteronormative cultural expectations. Despite increased social acceptance, embedded in the development of protective civil rights laws, same-sex couples continue to struggle with biased laws and homophobic public policy decisions, which can negatively influence their intimate relationships, and challenge the sanctity and safety of their family lives. However, protective factors are developed within the LGBTQ communities, and evidence suggests that adapting to the adversity and managing the stress of being a sexual minority might enhance certain coping strategies. Lesbian and gay couples have excellent skills in negotiating differences, and tend to have egalitarian relationships where power differentials are minimized. Gay and lesbian couples express high levels of satisfaction and resolve conflict constructively. Working with lesbian and couples requires careful attention to both the strengths and challenges unique to sexual minority identities, especially to the particular resiliencies developed in same-sex relationships within a homophobic culture.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this chapter

Chapter
USD 29.95
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
eBook
USD 84.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as EPUB and PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
Softcover Book
USD 109.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Compact, lightweight edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info
Hardcover Book
USD 109.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Durable hardcover edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info

Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout

Purchases are for personal use only

Institutional subscriptions

References

  • Allen, K. R. (2007). Ambiguous loss after lesbian couples with children break up: A case for same-gender divorce. Family Relations, 56, 175–183.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Ashton, D. (2011). Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals and the family life cycle. In M. McGoldrick, B. Carter, & N. Garcia-Preto (Eds.), The expanded family lifecycle (pp. 115–132). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bieschke, K., Perez, R., & DeBord, K. (Eds.). (2007). Handbook of counseling and psychotherapy with lesbian, gay, and bisexual clients (2nd ed.). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bigner, J. J., & Wetchler, J. L. (Eds.). (2012). Handbook of LGBT-affirmative couple and family therapy (pp. 57–68). New York: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bonet, L., Wells, B. E., & Parsons, J. T. (2007). A positive look at a difficult time: A strength based examination of coming out for lesbian and bisexual women. Journal of LGBT Health Research, 3(1), 7–14.

    Google Scholar 

  • Boss, P., & Greenberg, J. (1987). Family boundary ambiguity: A new variable in family stress theory. Family Process, 23(4), 535–546.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bryant, A. S., & Demian. (1994). Relationship characteristics of American gay and lesbian couples: Findings from a national survey. Journal of Gay and Lesbian Social Services, 1(2), 101–117.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Cochran, S. D., Mays, V. M., & Sullivan, J. G. (2003). Prevalence of mental disorders, psychological distress, and mental health services use among lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults in the United States. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 71(1), 53–56.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Connolly, C. M. (2005). A qualitative exploration of resilience in long-term lesbian couples. The Family Journal, 13, 266–280.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Connolly, C. M. (2006). A feminist perspective of resilience in lesbian couples. Journal of Feminist Therapy, 18, 137–162.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • D’Augelli, A. R., Hershberger, S. L., & Pilkington, N. W. (1998). Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth and their families: Disclosure of sexual orientation and its consequences. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 68, 361–371.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • D’Augelli, A. R., Grossman, A. H., & Starks, M. T. (2006). Childhood gender atypicality, victimization, and PTSD among lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 21(11), 1462–1482.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Dziengel, L. (2011). Resilience, ambiguous loss, and older same-sex couples: The resilience constellation model. Journal of Social Service Research, 38(1), 74–88.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Genke, J. (2004). Resistance and resilience: The untold story of gay men aging with chronic illness. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, 17(2), 81–95.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Giammattei, S. V., & Green, R.-J. (2012). LGBTQ couple and family therapy. In J. J. Bigner & J. L. Wetchler’s (Eds.), Handbook of LGBT-affirmative couple and family therapy (pp. 1–24). New York: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Goldberg, A. E. (2010). Gay and lesbian parents and their children: Research on the family life cycle. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

    Book  Google Scholar 

  • Goldberg, A. E., & Allen, K. R. (2012). LGBT-parent families: Innovations in research and implications for practice. New York: Springer.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gottman, J. M., Levenson, R. W., Gross, J., Frederickson, B. L., McCoy, K., Rosenthal, L., et al. (2003). Correlates of gay and lesbian couples’ relationship satisfaction and relationship dissolution. Journal of Homosexuality, 45(1), 23–43.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Green, R.-J. (2004). Risk and resilience in lesbian and gay couples: Comment on Solomon, Rothblum, and Balsam (2004). Journal of Family Psychology, 18(2), 290–292.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Green, R.-J. (2011). Gay and lesbian family life: Risk, resilience, and rising expectations. In F. Walsh (Ed.), Normal family process (4th ed., pp. 172–195). New York: Guildford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Green, R.-J., & Mitchell, V. (2008). Gay and lesbian couples in therapy: Minority stress, relational ambiguity, and families of choice. In A. S. Gurman (Ed.), Clinical handbook of couple therapy (4th ed., pp. 662–680). New York: Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Harvey, R. (2012). Young people, sexual orientation, and resilience. In M. Unger (Ed.), The social ecology of resilience: A handbook of theory and practice (pp. 3–25). New York: Springer.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hatzenbuehler, M. L., McLaughlin, K. A., Keyes, K. M., & Hasin, D. S. (2010). The impact of institutional discrimination on psychiatric disorders in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations: A prospective study. American Journal of Public Health, 100(3), 452–459.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Hunter, S. (2012). Lesbian and gay couples: Lives, issues, and practice. Chicago: Lyceum Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Jonathan, N. (2009). Carrying equal weight: Relational responsibility and attunement among same-sex couples. In C. Knudson-Martin & A. Rankin Mohoney (Eds.), Couples, gender and power: Creating change in intimate relationship (pp. 79–104). New York: Springer.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kurdek, L. (1993). The allocation of household labor in homo and hetero cohabiting couples. Journal of Social Issues, 49, 127–139.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Kurdek, L. A. (2005). What do we know about gay and lesbian couples? Current Directions in Psychological Science, 14(5), 251–254.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Laird, J. (1999). Gender and sexuality in lesbian relationships; Feminist and constructionist perspectives. In J. Laird (Ed.), Lesbians and lesbian families: Reflections on theory and practice (pp. 47–90). New York: Columbia University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • LaSala, M. (2004). Monogamy of the heart: Extradyadic sex and gay male couples. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, 17(3), 1–24.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • LaSala, M. C. (2010). Coming out, coming home: Helping families adjust to a gay or lesbian child. New York: Colombia University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lev, A. I. (2004). Transgender emergence: Therapeutic guidelines for working for gender- variant people and their families. New York: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lev, A. I. (2008). More than surface tension: Femmes in families. Journal of Lesbian Studies, 12(2–3), 126–143.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lev, A. I. (2010). How queer – the development of gender identity and sexual orientation in LGBTQ-headed families. Family Process, 49(2), 268–290.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lev, A. I., & Sennott, S. (2012). Trans-sexual desire in different gendered bodies. In J. J. Bigner & J. L. Wetchler (Eds.), Handbook of LGBT-affirmative couple and family therapy. New York: Taylor & Francis.

    Google Scholar 

  • Levitt, H. M., Gerrish, E. A., & Hiestand, K. R. (2003). The misunderstood gender: A model of modern femme identity. Sex Roles, 48, 99–113.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • MacDonald, B. J. (1998). Issues in therapy with gay and lesbian couples. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 24(3), 165–190.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Malpas, J. (2006). From otherness to alliance: Transgender couples in therapy. The Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 2(3/4), 183–206.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Meyer, I. H. (2003). Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations: Conceptual issues and research evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674–697.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Mohr, J. J., & Fassinger, R. E. (2003). Self-acceptance and self disclosure of sexual orientation in lesbian, gay and bisexual adults: An attachment perspective. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(4), 482–495.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Nadal, K. L., Marie-Anne, I., Leon, J., Meterko, V., Wideman, M., & Wong, Y. (2011). Sexual orientation microaggressions: “Death by a thousand cuts” for lesbian, gay and bisexual youth. Journal of LGBT Youth, 8, 234–259.

    Google Scholar 

  • Nuttbrock, L., Hwahng, S., Bockting, W., Rosenblum, A., Mason, M., Macri, M., et al. (2010). Psychiatric impact of gender-related abuse across the life course of male-to- female transgender persons. Journal of Sex Research, 47(1), 12–23.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Patterson, D. G., & Schwartz, P. (1994). The social construction of conflict in intimate same-sex couples. In D. D. Cahn (Ed.), Conflict in personal relationships (pp. 3–26). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

    Google Scholar 

  • Quam, J. K., Whitford, G. S., Dziengel, L. E., & Knochel, K. A. (2010). Exploring the nature of same-sex relationships: What contributes to couple satisfaction in older adults? Journal of Gerontological Social Work, 53(8), 702–722.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Ryan, C., Huebner, D., Diaz, R. M., & Sanchez, J. (2009). Family rejection as a predictor of negative health outcomes in white and Latino lesbian, gay, and bisexual young adults. Pediatrics, 123, 346–352.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Ryan, C., Huebner, D., Diaz, R., & Sanchez, J. (2010). Family acceptance in adolescence and the health of LGBT young adults. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 23, 205–213.

    Google Scholar 

  • Shelton, K., & Delgado-Romero, E. A. (2011). Sexual orientation microaggressions: The experience of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer clients in psychotherapy. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 58(2), 210–221.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Solomon, S. E., Rothblum, E. D., & Balsam, K. F. (2004). Pioneers in partnership: Lesbian and gay male couples in civil unions compared with those not in civil unions and married heterosexual siblings. Journal of Family Psychology, 18, 275–286.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Spitalnick, J. S., & McNair, L. D. (2005). Couples therapy with gay and lesbian clients: An analysis of important clinical issues. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 31, 43–56.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Sue, D. W. (2010). Microaggressions in everyday life: Race, gender, and sexual orientation. New York: Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Unger, M. (2011). The social ecology of resilience: Addressing contextual and cultural ambiguity of a nascent construct. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 81(1), 1–17.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Vaughan, M. D., & Waehler, C. A. (2010). Coming out growth: Conceptualizing and measuring stress-related growth associated with coming out to others as a sexual minority adult. Journal of Adult Development, 17, 94–109.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Walsh, F. (1996). The concept of family resilience: Crisis and challenge. Family Process, 35, 261–281.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Walsh, F. (2011). Normal family process (4th ed.). New York: Guildford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Witten, T. M., & Eyler, A. E. (Eds.). (2012). Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender aging: Challenges in research, practice, and policy. Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins University Press.

    Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

Authors

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Arlene Istar Lev .

Editor information

Editors and Affiliations

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

Copyright information

© 2015 Springer Science+Business Media Dordrecht

About this chapter

Cite this chapter

Lev, A.I. (2015). Resilience in Lesbian and Gay Couples. In: Skerrett, K., Fergus, K. (eds) Couple Resilience. Springer, Dordrecht. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-017-9909-6_3

Download citation

Publish with us

Policies and ethics