Negotiating the Biological ‘Tie’: Identity, Power and Difference Among Lesbian Parents

Abstract

If the lesbian mother is at once ‘icon and conundrum’ (Weston, 1991: 169), what of the ‘non-biological co-parent’, whose parental status is even more contested? Rohrbaugh (1989: 157) refers to her as ‘a shadowy figure’. In the previous chapter, we saw that her identity as a parent is frequently challenged in wider society. Certainly in legal terms, there is generally little or no acknowledgement of her existence. Recent studies of lesbian parenting have highlighted the egalitarian practices of many lesbian parents who share the responsibilities of household labour and childcare equally (e.g. Sullivan, 1996; Dunne, 1998a). The literature on queer ‘families of choice’ (Weston, 1991; Weeks et al., 2001) has emphasised the alternative basis of families that are not organised around ‘blood ties’. However, relatively little attention has been paid to the implications for equality and kinship formation of the differential legal status of lesbian couples with children where only one partner has any parental rights. Participants in this study gave a variety of reasons for choosing to be/becoming a ‘biological’ or ‘non-biological’ parent. What then were the consequences of this difference? If two women plan and raise a child together, but only one of them is accorded any legal recognition, is this difference understood as a power imbalance and if so, how is it negotiated? Aside from the legal advantage/vulnerability, are there any other ways in which couples articulate difference associated with being a biological or non-biological parent as manifested through the lived experiences of parenting?