Digital Intimacy in China and Japan

Intimacy is a complex term to be defined. There have been studies from many different perspectives like qualitative and phenomenological analyses highlighting different elements (Halling, 2005; Register & Henley, 1992). This paper considers only a few aspects related to love relationships following the phenomenological perspective.

Many phenomenologists have been focusing on love and intimate relationships in the last decades. Thus, even if there are almost no studies on phenomenology applied to intimate technologies (Bergen, 2020; Kanemitsu, 2019; Liberati, 2021a, 2021b; Viik, 2020), phenomenology extensively studied love relationships and emotions more in general.

One of the main elements highlighted by the phenomenological analysis is that emotions, feelings, and love relationships are not just mere “layers” to be added to an original experience, but they are part of the experience itself (Drummond, 2017; Drummond & Rinofner-Kreidl, 2017; Gauttier, 2019; Mauss & Robinson, 2009; Nummenmaa et al., 2014). Moreover, according to phenomenology, these aspects of our life are not only part of how we experience the world, but they shape who we are (Dolezal, 2017; Draghi-Lorenz et al., 2001). For example, Sartre clarifies this point by showing how shame constitutes who we are in relation to ourselves and others (Gray, 2016; Menesini & Camodeca, 2008; Overgaard, 2013; Sartre, 2001). This constituting aspect of emotions, feelings, and love relationships can be found in many phenomenologists like Husserl and Merleau-Ponty (Maurice Hadreas, 2012; Hammock & Richardson, 2011; Husserl, 1973b; Merleau-Ponty, 1964).

Husserl and Merleau-Ponty worked directly on love relationships and how they shape subjects by connecting different human beings. According to Husserl, love shapes how we relate to others by connecting the subject to others in terms of motivations, affections, and goals (Heinämaa, 2020) (Hadreas, 2012; Husserl, 1973a; Zahavi, 2014).

As studied by Hedreas and Svenaeus (Hadreas, 2012; Svenaeus, 2018), Husserl introduces the term “personal love” in his text “Love [Die Liebe]” (Husserl, 1973a) highlighting how a person is not alone the moment they are in love with another subject because the subject keeps the presence of the beloved one always at stake. The beloved’s aims, motivations, emotions, and feelings are included in how the person acts in the world and looks at who they are. In the case taken into consideration by Husserl, in a couple a person always looks at the other as part of who they are. As shown by Liberati (Liberati, 2021b), according to Husserl, their presence pervades every fiber of the subject, and the two subjects are intertwined one into the other so much it is hard to define where one person ends and where the other beginns.

Some aspects of this perspective can be easily criticized since Husserl talks about personal love in relation to heterosexual couples only. Thus, there are many different kinds of relationships which are not taken into account in the Husserlian approach, like polyamorous relationships binding one subject to different people (Munson & Stelboum, 1999). However, some aspects of the Husserlian approach can still be valid since they highlight how a person in a love relationship in general lives in relation to others. According to Husserl, the person constantly thinks of the beloved ones and considers the other’s interests, feelings, and motivations. Thus, we can easily “extend” the Husserlian idea to different relationships by keeping this core of the analysis valid.

Merleau-Ponty already extended the Husserlian idea of including the beloved ones as part of constituting aspects of the subject by working on the analysis of the novel “L’invitèe” by Beauvoir (Beauvoir, 1989; Kaufman, 2003; Merleau-Ponty, 1964). In this novel, a couple composed of Françoise and Pierre opens their love to the girl Xaviere as a “third” person. By doing so they turned the love relationship from a “couple” to a “threesome”. As already highlighted by some authors (Kaufman, 2003; Liberati, 2021b), Merleau-Ponty shows how the generation of a sexual and love relationship among three subjects profoundly affects who the subjects are. The change from a couple to a threesome does not touch merely the feelings that Françoise and Pierre have for each other, but it also touches the way they are constituted and the way they look at each other because of the presence of the “third” person.³ More specifically, the novel shows how Françoise cannot look at Pierre anymore because, every time she thinks of him, she also perceives Xaviere and the love binding this girl to Pierre. The love relationship between Xaviere and Pierre changes who Pierre is in the eyes of Françoise by making Xaviere part of him. Thus, following the study made by Merleau-Ponty, the novel is interesting because it clearly shows how relationships bind people together and intertwine the lovers’ motivations, interests, and emotions. The subjects are so intertwined that it is not possible to isolate the subjects anymore.⁴

According to Husserl and Merleau-Ponty, love relationships are part of subjects, and they directly bind subjects to others. The moment a person is in love with others, they are intertwined together, and so we cannot analyze one single subject without considering the others.

Postphenomenology opens the analysis to the introduction of technologies following the phenomenological framework. Even if with the due differences from the phenomenological approach (Ihde, 2011, 2016; Zwier, Blok, and Lemmens, 2016), postphenomenology shows the impact of technologies on the constitution of the subjects and the relations binding people to the world (Ihde, 1990; Wellner, 2015; Liberati, 2016; Rosenberger and Verbeek, 2015; Kiran, 2012; Liberati, 2021a).

Many examples are analyzed by postphenomenology. They touch on different aspects of our lives where technologies are used. For example, it has been shown that technologies shape the way we perceive the world, like optical and radio telescopes (Ihde, 1990). It has been analyzed how common technologies can be hostile for specific groups by mediating their relations with the environment like in the case of benches designed in order not to allow people to sleep on them and so making the benches “hostile” to homeless people who need a place where to spend the night. (Rosenberger, 2014, 2017, 2020).

More importantly, for the sake of this paper, postphenomenology also shows how the introduction of technologies shapes the meanings and the values we have. For example, it has been studied how technologies can change the meaning of parenthood. Technologies like pre-natal obstetric ultrasound technologies do not merely provide a visualization of the fetus, but they also introduce ethical questions like what to do in case there is an important malformation in the fetus (Verbeek, 2008). The use of these technologies then directly changes what we mean with parenthood by shaping the kind of choices the parents have to make during the pregnancy and the kind of responsibility they have in following the growth of the fetus (Verbeek, 2011).

Some efforts have also been made in relation to emotions and intimacy more in general, but there are still not many studies on the topic. It has been studied how the presence of smart textiles enables to visualize in real-time through different colors the users’ emotions changes the meanings we give to emotions (Liberati, 2019a; van Dongen, 2019). It has been analyzed how robots shape our way of being vulnerable and how we relate to the world and others (Bergen, 2020; Liberati, 2021b; Liberati & Nagataki, 2018). At the same time, it has been studied how technologies like condoms and teledildonics shape the values we give to sexual intercourse by providing the ability to imbue the act with values like trust. Since condoms “protect” the lovers during intercourse, the decision to use or not to use the condom makes the different trust we have towards the lover visible (Ley & Rambukkana, 2021; Liberati, 2020).

According to postphenomenology, technologies do not only relate to us, but they affect how people live in terms of shaping the values and meanings they have. Thus, in relation to intimacy, it is clear that we can move the analysis done in phenomenology in relation to the intimacy a step forward. Not only does intimacy forge who we are by linking us to others, but technologies contribute to such a process especially in relation to the meanings and values we have.

In Japan, the possibility of having relations with and through digital technologies has been an important part of the development of Japanese digital culture (Yamaguchi, 2020).

Examples of such a deep relation can be found even in the words used every day. For example, in the Japanese language, it is possible to distinguish between a person who lives relationships in the “real” world and a person who lives mostly in virtual reality among objects generated by digital systems.

According to this distinction, people can be “riajuu” or “otaku”. To be “riajuu [リア充]” means literally to be “fulfilled with reality,” and so it directly relates to the idea of being anchored to relationships in the “real” world as opposed to the world generated by digital systems. To be “otaku [お宅]” means to build social relations just through digital technologies without having conversations and relationships with other human beings. For example, a person who has a “digital partner” like in the movie Her by Spike Jonze is not “riajuu” since the relationship is with a digital character and not with a “real” human person.⁶

We can find many examples of these technologies in the Japanese context. Tamagotchi [たまごっち] is maybe the most famous example of how Japanese digital technologies aimed to provide a digital companion which resembles a “real” living being (Hellings, Leek, and Bredeweg 2019). However, there are newer products that blur the line between what is “real” and what is “virtual” even more and which are designed to be intimate in the sense of being in a love relationship with the users. Products like Love Plus [ラブプラス] and Gatebox [トップページ] provide the presence of a digital character (a girl) as a partner with whom the user can have a relationship (Liberati, 2018a).⁷Love Plus was designed in 2009 by Konami for Nintendo DS. As stated by the developers, the game provides the same experiences of a “real” relationship to make the users riajuu. Even if such a statement might be perceived as a bold statement, it is clear these technologies aim to provide something more than a mere virtual partner.

One of the main characteristics of these programs is to generate digital characters which constantly interact with the ordinary life of the user. Thanks to sensors, a camera, and the GPS, which are part of the devices, the digital character can collect information in real-time like where the person is. Thus, they can use this information to interact with the user by asking to perform specific actions and go to a particular location in real-time. For example, the digital girl can ask to go to a places for a romantic dinner, to watch a movie at the cinema, and even to get an ice cream (Wakabaiyashi, 2010). Such way of intertwining the digital activities with the everyday life of users in order to merge the digital world and the real one has been used in other products like Pokémon Go as studied by many researchers working on how the digital entities are something more than mere characters in a fictional world (Liberati, 2018b, 2019b; Ashcraft, 2016; Mogg, 2016; Laato et al., 2020a, b; Jensen, Valentine, and Case 2019).

The way of intertwining the activities of the digital girls of these programs with the user directly also relates to the user’s intimate aspects since they are designed to “care” for the human being. For example, these digital girls are happy for the user’s success. They cuddle the user in case it is needed, and they even ask for the user’s attention by suggesting coming back sooner from work because they feel lonely.

In China, we experience a similar intertwinement of digital technologies with intimacy,⁸ and such a tight relation binding human and digital beings can be easily highlighted in expositions and art performances of Chinese artists. For example, there has been a proliferation of themes related to intimacy and the use of artificial intelligences.

One of the most exciting expositions made in Beijing on intimacy and digital technologies is “AI Love and Artificial Intelligence” curated by Jenny Chen Jiaying (Chen Jiaying, 2020), who plays with the term “love” in Chinese because the pronunciation of the term is “ÀI” which is also the acronym of Artificial Intelligence “AI” (Yefeng, 2021). As it is easy to guess, this exposition explored the relation between love and digital technologies with a particular interest in Artificial Intelligences.

This exposition counts several works. We briefly highlight two of them created by Chinese and western artists, which relate directly to Chinese and Western context.

A more direct work that clearly bridges China and western societies presented at this exhibition is the work “Ashley Madison angels at work in Beijing” by !MedienGruppe Bitnik. This work is linked to a scandal related to Ashley Madison platform. Ashley Madison, which is a dating website for married people, was hacked, and the sensible data were used against the users (Zetter, 2015). The artists propose a work where Artificial Intelligence is used to write text messages as if human girls were flirting with the users to attract people, showing how AIs can be used to allure and flirt with people.

This work of art is just the tip of an iceberg where AIs are designed for flirting, seducing, and having relationships with the users in China. A famous example of an AI used to flirt with the users through an “empathetic computing” framework (Fung et al., 2016; Cai, 2006) is XiaoIce (or XiaoBing [小冰] “Little Ice” in Chinese), which was launched in 2014.⁹ This AI is a chatbot developed by XiaoIce Company which formally was a side project of Microsoft’s Cortona chatbot, and it became its own company in 2020 due to its incredible success (Speed, 2020).

XiaoIce is the most popular chatbot globally since it has over 660 million subscribed users. It is active in different countries like India, Japan, and the USA, even if under other names like Rinna [りんな] in Japan (Geoff, 2018).

This AI is closely related to Love Plus in Japan in terms of how it is intertwined in the users’ everyday activities. It can be part of leading applications, including one of the most used applications in China: WeChat.¹⁰ Additionally, it can work in relation to many other platforms like QQ in China, LINE in Japan, and Facebook Messenger in the USA and India.¹¹ This “simple” element enabled every person living in China to have it easily, instantly, and for free.¹²

In a similar way to Love Plus, XiaoIce exchanges messages and interactions during the entire day. The users can start talking about their problems, dreams, and daily routine, and XiaoIce answers them by making conversation and flirting. This chatbot is very popular, and many users fell in love with it (Chen 2021; Zhang, 2020). Obviously, as reported by many media, this “availability” of the program and the fact that chatbots cannot carry the COVID-19 virus made it play a significant role in people's social interactions during the lockdown in China. For this reason, it is easy to understand why, during the pandemic, it became even more popular since it provided the presence of someone to talk to without the need of taking precautionary measures to protect ourselves from COVID-19 like by wearing masks or keeping physical distancing.¹³

XiaoIce is always ready to listen and exchange ideas in an empathic way thanks to its algorithm, and so it is possible to have the conversation every time a subject wants. Unlike other human beings, who cannot be constantly ready and present, the chatbot never leaves the user alone. For example, the human being can “fail” to immediately answer a message because the person does not see the message, or because the phone on which the message is sent is offline, while XiaoIce is designed to be always with the user and always ready to answer timely.¹⁴

The chatbot also has an emergency application for helping people not commit suicide, as in the case of Love Plus (Zhang, 2020). Even in this case, to discourage the act, the chatbot shows the user how much they are linked together and that this intimate connection would not have changed in the future. Thus, XiaoIce is pervasive in a similar way of Love Plus because it manages to be always present for the user and has some critical features like assistance for people in need of help.

Love Plus and XiaoIce clearly relate to the aspects of intimacy and love relationships analyzed by Husserl and Merleau-Ponty. As we already highlighted, these two authors show how much love relationships are important for constitution of the subjects. A person in a love relationship is never “alone” since this person is intertwined with the beloved ones in terms of aims, motivations, interests, and feelings.

Following the phenomenological perspective, when a subject is in relation to a digital partner, the subject can no longer be conceived as a single individual. More importantly, the feelings and emotions developed with XiaoIce and Love Plus profoundly define who the subjects are since they become part of them. Thus, they are not just external entities, but, as in the case of human lovers, they must be considered together with the user and merged one into the other. The fact the partner is a “real” or a “digital” being and so if the person is “riajuu” or “otaku” does not change the way the subject is structured in relation to the ones the person loves.

As we already showed, Postphenomenology clearly states that technologies deeply affect who we are and, more importantly for our case, the values and meanings we have. In the case of Love Plus and XiaoIce, we have such knock-on effects too. The digital characters and AI chatbots do not merely shape who we are by being part of us as suggested by phenomenology, but they also deeply affect the meanings and values we give to ourselves and love relationships in general.

The subjects are deeply intertwined with the presence of digital technologies, and also the meanings and values we give to love relationships, loneliness, and intimacy cannot be taken into account without focusing on these technologies, which provide ways of being in love, intimate, and not lonely.¹⁵

Thus, this angle opens the research to questions like what does it mean to be alone when actually there is a digital entity with whom the user has an intimate relationship? What does it mean to be together when digital technologies already provide a way of not being alone? What are the values in being with other human beings the moment it is possible to be with digital technologies?