Offering New Possibilities of Organizing in Social Situations: Towards a Posture of Decentering and Centering

The other day I observed (and was part of) the following scene. Both my sons had been told by my wife (and their mother) to take a cup of hot chocolate from the kitchen. They ran into the kitchen and, in front of the kitchen sink, they apparently hesitated a moment: on the counter stood a cup and a mug of hot chocolate. Which one would each take? Quick as lightning my elder son took the cup and cheerfully sneaked out of the kitchen. At exactly that moment the younger three-year-old burst out crying, his usual means of expressing a variety of messages and feelings at once. There I was. What could I do? Run after my older son and punish him? (Why?) Console my younger son? (Why?) Walk away? Call their mother? Ignore the whole scene? I was struck silent: many possibilities kept running through my mind and all were immediately dismissed. Intervene? Stay out of it? Why not both? Finally, I decided to do both and to invite the boys for a short story-telling session. They loved Andersen’s ‘the emperor’s new clothes’ and I hoped that telling the story would cheer up both my sons (my wife and myself). Within minutes, all of us were sitting cozily on the couch, concentrating on Andersen’s story and leaving behind the incident for a moment.